confessions of a bleeding heart...

The spaces between my fingers  reminds me of a absence, they longs for someone to hold them, I miss a touch; just one.

I believed those pairs were meant for me but sadly enough that was not the reality. He preferred his merry over all my sorrow and tears.

 I tried to hold on to his trail but they are fading with time.

A question; what was more important; his happiness or my love?Some say you cannot live with a person whom you are not happy with...

But he used to, at least the last 3 years and then suddenly this.

I know he misses me, but with his ever growing ego, he will pretend nothing is bothering him at all.

Night after night I had imagined him in every aspect of my life, but now even the dreams have betrayed me. Sometimes I feel his memories have become a source of my survival, I deliberately try to think of him. As for now I have got only these memories of him.

I have confined all my words within myself; I don’t want the whole world to make a fun of my situation. My friends believe I have moved on but the truth is that I am not strong enough to let go his memories.

Life plays havoc on you sometimes, in those situations he used to stand by “come what may”!

I was addicted of him and now when he’s no more I am finding it hard to cope up from his absence. 

I have felt and now believe it's always difficult to lose someone you love; their absence will forever remind you, someone was here but now they are not.

With the fear of meeting excessively interested pair of eyes, I broke every past connection. My old school proved a horror for me, as there used to be only one thing good about it!! It seems as if my bright mornings have disappeared and I have shed myself in hibernation. 

Sometimes it's hard to face the reality that he has moved on in his life, at times I feel good for him but at other times I ponder "why me"?

I have preserved every letter, shirt, pics of him, sometimes I go through them wondering how much our temperaments contrasted but still we made a good team of two. Over the days I have realized he has made a permanent resident in my heart, but he makes my pain more pronounced, sometimes unbearable ! but this pain is the only reminder that he was once in my life.